my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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