i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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