Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
