I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
