i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
