My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
