As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
