"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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