a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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