We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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