okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
