I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
