i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Who did Billy Mays play for?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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