You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
