it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
