worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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