Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
