Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize