i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
