wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
