this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
