I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Terrible idea I love it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
