yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
