I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
