You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
