Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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