i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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