Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
