you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
