Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
