It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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