I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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