you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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