am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it was like eating out sand paper
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
