Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
