She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize