with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Buhtt sex?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
