i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
