found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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