I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
