hell yes lets make some ravioli
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize