just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
