Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Boobs speak an international language.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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