this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
