you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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