i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize