i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My dick has a subreddit
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
