I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
