well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
