Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
