i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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