Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
