Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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