So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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