my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
