im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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