oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
