Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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