i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
