is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
