I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
