My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
