Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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