so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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