Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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