We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
