hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
