Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
