So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
