i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
