Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
