The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This is my gift to your gina
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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