some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
