Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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