If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
operation have a gay friend backfired
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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